““A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.”
– Andre Maurois
However though, not necessarily do we hear about all relationships treading on a heavenly ride all the time!
Every couple go through their own shares of ups and downs in their lives.
But the fundamentals of every relationship is based on key factors like trust, understanding and most importantly, LOYALTY.
If a seed of suspicion arises in any marriage, it refers to the start of a crumbling state of the piles of blocks in a relationship.
How can one get the feel of being unfaithful in a marriage?
When one does things that involve not being able to tell the other person openly about (lying, manipulating etc.) what they do, is definitely the start of a fishy turn.
“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.”
― Patti Callahan Henry, Between the Tides
Let us discuss a couple of pointers for easy identification of a partner who is known to betray the other person in a relationship. All these are not necessarily true all the time. But might be, if there is no solid evidence backing up the solution.
- A very important sign to watch out for in the partner is to observe if they always use the term ‘we’. When there is even a subtle change in the ‘We’ to a ‘You’ + ‘I’ separately it signals the start of a split
- When one begins to suppress their whereabouts, that indicates a relationship is not healthy
- The inability to stare point blankly into the eyes, when being questioned about infidelity
- A lot of stutters and stammers during phone conversations for an exceptionally long time
- Observance of a new and unexplained changed pattern in the individual. For eg. a mysterious new perfume or increased hostility with the partner
- The more hours they are unreachable without a valid reason might be a case of infidelity
- The mysterious phone or video calls at odd hours, again without an authentic cause can be definitely identified as a case of cheating
- An excessive timing for grooming is an indication that there is some evidence of a wrong relationship brewing by the side
- Decreased affection or losing interest in their own partners by showing a lot of hostility towards them
- When the personal electronic devices are strictly passcode protected. Especially, when one hides their phone each time, they have to move away from it, then there is the obvious evidence of a cheating condition
- Unexplained splurging of money can also be a signal of infidelity. For eg. when the person is not able to explain their credit card billings is a clear sign of infidelity
- Unlisted erratic mood swings which results in abuse can also be a symbol of guilt of cheating
- Refusal to visit places commonly visited before, in fear of being reminded of their illegal partner
- When there are lame frequent excuses for not being reachable or for missing in action most of the time
- There is an off beaten track when they are taken aback each time they feel love and affection. In short, they are scared to face the prospect of a loving one-sided partner while cheating with another person by the side
- When they prefer to take very long distance trips for the sake of work, instead of short ones is something to be taken into consideration to keep a relationship in check
- Being infected with a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) is also an obvious cause of cheating
- Stashing up sex toys secretly or stocking up on sexual protection in a not-so-obvious manner will definitely mean a hidden agenda behind your back
- Not preferring to declare relationship status publicly will also mean that the partner is doing something wrong
- If someone tips off the other partner being spotted with someone else, the defensive mode they get into to defend their case
The above mentioned pointers need not be true for every existential married couple. But if you find that one or few of the above mentioned conditions appear true, then there is a good chance to start being more mindful and watchful of the situation during the start itself and might even provide an opportunity to catch the partner red-handed while cheating in the relationship.
I believe that there is no point in staying in an unhappy marriage or an abusive marriage. If one finds the other person cheating in a relationship, it is essential to come clear about it and discuss the options for it or try to make amends and see if this will work ahead or separate in different ways. There is no point of leaving two unpeaceful souls who find comfort in any other person apart from there, but have to stick and put up with each other. In one way, like Princess Diana had famously said about her relationship, that there were always three people in their relationship and that it felt crowded.